Friday, January 13, 2012

The High-Altitude Attitude of a Badass Rollergirl

Hi There!

Thought I’d given up, din’cha?  Nope.  Just kind of busy these days, that’s all…

Okay, first things first:  I’ve lost at least 4 pounds since my last blog post.  I say “at least” because the damn scale likes to say “165” one day and “164” the next, then back to “165”.  Freakin’ tease.  Anyway, since my goal is to lose 2 pounds per week, I’d say I’m right on schedule.

Now to the struggles and cravings and mishmash of horrors.

I did continue to list everything I ate, but since so much time has gone by, it seems like it would take up way too much room to list everything here.  (Read:  I don’t want to tell everyone about the day I ate a Twix bar, which unfortunately led to 3 packages of Little Debbie’s Nutty Bars – all in the same day.  No.  I don’t want to talk about it.) 

Here’s what I have done, in a nutshell:
Continued to eat as much CHEESE as humanly possible, but not quite as much as before.
Cut down on my portions.  (well, mostly.)
Found other stuff to do that keeps me from watching “Hoarders” marathons and raiding the fridge (like freelance work, skating, and cleaning house).

Side note:  
The “Hoarders” show is a weird new addiction that I cannot seem to shake.  I’ve even found multiple variations of the show:  “Hoarders” (the original), “Hoarding: Buried Alive,” and even “Clean House: Messiest Home” will work as a sort of methadone until a new episode of “Hoarders” comes on.  The only thing I won’t watch is “Confessions of an Animal Hoarder,” because I just want to reach through the television screen and STRANGLE those people and that would be very bad because unlike that one Twilight Zone episode, our television does not, in fact, harbor a window into the television world.  I’d just break the screen and then the husband would finally have enough evidence to call the men in the white coats, and basket weaving isn't one of my strong suits.

Side note, cont'd:  
Why “Hoarders,” you ask?  Because it scares the living hell out of me.  And my house.  I mean, it scares me into cleaning the living hell out of my house.  So it’s a motivating factor.  Granted, I don’t ever leave trash on the floor or misplace cats only to find them years later dried up and flattened underneath piles of books and clothes, but I do tend to keep weird stuff for “sentimental” reasons, and lately I’ve been going through all that “sentimental” crap and declaring it, well, CRAP.  Goodwill loves me right now.  So does Bookman’s.  So ANYWAY….

Back to the eating habits:

I continue to drink ONLY water with every meal.  I’ve also cut way down on the vodka/Perriers (one after dinner every 3-4 days or so), and I haven’t had ANY champagne, wine, or sparkling anything since January 4th!  [Amazing.]  I’m also slowly beginning to replace those Hot Pockets breakfast thingys (I know… but the husband loves them, so there they are in the freezer) with those Waso multigrain cracker thingys.  I found this ready-made hummus spread at the store that comes in various flavors; roasted sun-dried tomato and fresh garlic are my two favorites.  So for a late night snack, I spread a little hummus on a Waso cracker and it’s about 70 calories total (I’m guessing), and the tastebuds are happy!  Before that, I had kind of a problem that involved grabbing a great big flour tortilla, grating about a cup of cheese to keep it company, and broiling it all together in the oven at, say, 11:30 at night.  (Notice how I no longer have to capitalize the word CHEESE.  Woops – sorry.  It’s a process…) 

Exercise:  I roller skated on the sidewalks of Foxglenn Park for 1.5 hours on Tuesday and Thursday of this week, and man did my butt hurt last night!  It was freaking COLD yesterday too… but I still skated, coughing and wheezing and panting nearly the whole time.

"So, what brand of dishwashing detergent do you use?"
So this Roller Derby thing could be exactly what I need.  Yeah, I grew up with skates on my feet, sure, but I never considered doing anything DANGEROUS with them.  A few years ago, Gary would be watching derby stuff on TV and then he'd go and suggest I might oughtta try it, and I’d be all, “HA!  Are you crazy?  That looks scary!  Those girls are bruisers, they’d eat me alive!  No WAY am I one of those girls.  I’m not tough like that.” 

Well, I happen to have emerged from a VERY, no, EXTREMELY tough situation a little more than 5 years ago, beating all the "odds" and "statistics" into a pathetic wretched bloody pulp, and in the course of things managed to find out just how tough I really am, in, like, a mental sort of way.  So now I might as well see how I can surprise myself with the physical.  Most contact sports are about 80% attitude & mental agility and 20% physical fitness, so I know I’ve got the ‘tude.  If I can just learn how to transfer the mental to the physical, I’ll be hell on wheels.  Like, you know, literally.

Besides, I’ve met quite a few of the derby girls up here now, and yes, they are bad-asses, but they’re the sweetest, friendliest, most welcoming bad-asses I’ve ever met.  I mean, these chicks seriously rock.  And they don’t care that I’ve never done derby before, and I’ve even confessed my fears to a few of them, and they’re all like, “Yeah, me too. So what?”  And I’m all, “Cool!” and they’re all, “Duh!” and it’s all Good.

Want to read more about these badass chicks?  Click HERE.